Learnin' to Speak Cowboy

Every working ranch needs a certain amount of people working together to make the machine run.  At a guest ranch it takes a full crew of young people with endless energy and permanent smiles!  In the week after I arrived the rest of the crew trickled in, settled in and began to get to know each other.  I soon realized that I spoke a language quite different to the more experienced wranglers and country folk…I had to work on my Cowboy speak!

When learning to speak Cowboy (aka: redneck) one must remember to never use correct grammar or tenses.  Example: 'I came around the corner and their were three pregnant cows who looked ready to have their babies.'   Becomes: "So, I come  'round the corner and saw them heffers lookin' ready to drop them calves" Also note that cows never 'have babies', they "drop calves" and there is no such thing as a "baby calf", it's just a calf--all things I got wrong early in my cowboy learnin' and was mercilessly laughed at for.  Next, when speaking Cowboy one should attempt at all possible times to shorten words.  Example: Running becomes runnin', laughing becomes laughin' and so on.  When telling stories or sharing anecdotes one must be excessively thorough and include at least 25% inaccuracy(bullshit) in order to be considered a half decent tale.  And, of course, in order to master the language it is important to insert Cowboy phrases and common sayings regularly.  Example: "There's many a slip twix the cup and the lip" meaning a lot can go wrong in a short period of time; "Fair to middlin'" as a response to most any question; and "There aint' a horse that can't be rode or a man that can't be throne" as a comment on life in general.  And on that note, the topic of life, manliness and huntin', fishin', ropin' and rodeoin' should be discussed regularly and with great seriousness.  If these simple steps can be achieved, you can move on to "Rodeo Speak" and greater ranch etiquette.  

So, my education continues.  Later this week some of the staff, including myself, are going to a rodeo dance in the nearest town.  I have a feeling I'll be coming back to the ranch with more stories and a better idea of what living in this part of British Columbia really means. 

Cowboy at work

First Impressions

For those of you readers who don't know me, I drive a 25 year old VW hippie van with flowers lovingly spray painted on the sides.  A relatively normal (although always awesome) vehicle to drive on Vancouver Island….not really designed to take on the 40 odd kilometres of dirt logging roads and private driveway in post-winter break-up conditions that was my only way of getting to the ranch.  But we made it (my boyfriend, Ryan, dropped me off because he is currently living in the van and needed his home back) on an unexpectedly snowy morning in late April after a comically slow slog in 2nd gear.  Ryan helped me with my bags, set off on his return journey and I was left to check out my new 160acre home for the summer.

Here's the basic run-down:  Each staff member has their own canvas, ranger style tent (unless they're a couple) in an area we call "tent city".  We have nice washrooms and a staff house which has the lounge area, dining room and kitchen, as well as a couple more bedrooms.  It's lovely and private and just far enough away from the guest areas--it's fantastic.  Then there is the main ranch house which is a classically beautiful, South facing, timber framed home with several guest suites, the owners living space, spacious dining room, great room and gourmet kitchen.  It is on the edge of a small blue lake; home to water birds, drinking hole to local deer, moose, ranch horses and cows and sporting a dock for swimming in warmer weather.  Up on a hill overlooking the lake and with a view of the Marble Mountain range in the other direction are 3 totally decked out glamping tents for more guest accommodation. I know all that sounds pretty great but the real kicker for me are the barn and corrals--where the fun comes from!  The barn is another timber structure, this time filled to capacity with all manner of tack, feed and other ranchy odds and ends that I am still putting names to(it also houses guests in a suite above the action).  Attached to the barn are the three large corrals where the horses who aren't out on the trails spend their days relaxing.  Also on the ranch are 7 cows, 3 adorable pigs who I absolutely cannot get attached to for obvious reasons, and countless chickens.  Watching and meeting the animals has been endlessly entertaining for me!

                                      

                                       Some of the horses grazing in front of the staff tents

When I first arrived the horses were out at pasture, where they spend the majority of their time.  I should mention that out here 'pasture' seems to mean fencing in the things you don't want the animals to get into rather than fencing the animals in, so the first few mornings I woke up to the sound of horses grazing outside my tent.  I had to push them out of the way to get to the bathroom and watched them milling outside the window as I ate my cereal…awesome!  The 12 year old horse-crazy girl inside of me was going nuts!  She still is except that now, after a couple weeks of actual work, she has been joined by the 24 year old who really likes her new job!  This is horse and hospitality paradise rolled into one. 

Some of the horses grazing near the ranch house

The Next Adventure

The Next adventure

Hello blogisfere.   My name is Brianna and I never thought I would be blogging, but this summer I have been hired on as the Assistant Manager (in training) of a guest ranch in the Cariboo range of British Columbia.  Considering that I am a)born and raised in a city, b)from the west coast where rain is more comfortable than drought and puddles are preferred to dusty fields and c)as unexposed to the world of ranching and all things 'Western" as you would expect a city girl to be, this summer is sure to be somewhat interesting and certainly educational.  I thought I would share my(hopefully entertaining) experiences, stories, trials and tribulations, and new cowgirl knowledge with whoever wants to read.  So here goes…Blog #1.

My new adventure truly started when I received my packing list.  In my position at the guest ranch I am expected to be able to do any job that pertains to guest services.  This meant that when my packing list was e-mailed to me I received 4 separate lists including the cook's, the server's, the housekeeper's, and the horseback guide's lists.  Most were reasonably straight forward for anyone who has worked in remote tourism outfits before (my bread and butter);the standard work and play clothes, rain gear and swim wear, 6 months worth of shampoo and tampons and some kind of hobby to keep you busy in the wilderness when you aren't working, which is rarely.  I was, however, slightly alarmed by the luggage that the guides would be expected to bring.  In hind-sight, I really should have been prepared for the list including items like cowboy hat, rodeo style belt buckle, tailored western button-up shirts, wrangler jeans, Man From Snowy River style oil skin slicker and cowboy boots, just to mention a few things that I had never considered owning.  But no, I hadn't even considered that I might be completely and utterly out of my element riding the range with experienced cow-people on a full-on ranch in the middle of nowhere.  I was entering a new world and hadn't even thought to buy the 'simple Cowboy-speak' phrase book.  Shopping for ranch clothing and accessories felt like halloween in April and showed me just how little I had thought of the whole western side of this new job, but with a little help from some good friends I put together a somewhat reasonable ranch girl get-up.  All I could do was cross my fingers and hope that I wouldn't show up looking like a tourist who bought a whole new wardrobe to fit in somewhere totally exotic.  I had images of myself as a cowboy version of those people in tacky safari photos wearing all khaki and tilly hats with huge cameras hanging from their necks…It felt like the first day at a new school: "Please let me look cool, please let me look cool".   

I rubbed my flashy new 'western style' work jacket in some dirt, crushed up my too-black cowgirl hat a bit, wore my stiff new boots constantly to give them that 'been around the ranch' look and set off for the land of country music, big trucks and horses!

The Ranch House where I'll be spending lots of time this summer!